March 28, 2010 Harpers Ferry, Boston, Massachusetts
Moonalice poster by Alexandra Fischer
According to Moonalice legend, Allston was home to the Boston Braves baseball team. From 1915 to 1952, the Braves were the National League francise in New England, before they bolted first for Milwaukee and then Atlanta. The Moonalice tribe loves baseball, and would have been really devastated by the Braves’ departure, except that they didn’t notice. Nope. The Moonalice tribe in those days was committed to extreme self-medication. With two teams in town and no cable TV, the Moonalices were totally confused. They thought they had double vision. Maybe there was something in their roling papers that was causing hallucinations. It was known in the tribe as the Curse of the Big Bambu.
According to Moonalice legend, Allston has never been an independent political jurisdiction. It has always been enslaved by Brighton. We feel your pain. Our tribe has had the same problem. There is not one mention of the Moonalice tribe in any history book. Is that ridiculous or what? We have been here since the beginning of time. If it weren’t for the legend, no one would know about the tribe.
According to Moonalice legend, Boston was founded in 1830 by a bunch of Pilgrims. History says they were looking for religious freedom. It makes them out to be a bunch of stuffed shirts. But did you ever wonder how they came to share a thanksgiving meal in harmony with the local tribes? Hemp. In those days, being a Puritan meant all kinds of things, but nobody had a problem with smoking hemp. It was yummy!
According to Moonalice legend, today is Weed Appreciation Day. According to the internet, today is the day gardeners are supposed to show some love to dandelions and crab grass. In the Moonalice tribe, of course, Weed Appreciation Day means something else entirely. It is a High Holy Day. We invite you to celebrate with the herbal entertainment of your choice.
According to Moonalice legend, today is the first day of Root Canal Awareness week. Now that you are aware of Root Canal, you crave anesthetic. You have come to the right place. If you’re not sure, talk to Big Steve.
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