July 4, 2009 Veterans Home of California, Yountville, California
Moonalice poster by Dennis Loren
According to Moonalice legend, George Calvert Yount arrived in this part of California determined to grow grapes and make wine. When he got here, the place was inhabited by members of the Moonalice tribe and planted with acre upon acre of quality hemp. Yount explained his plan to the tribal chief, a matriarch by the name of Napa Moonalice, who thought he was crazy, but was too polite to say so. Instead, she gracious offered to sell the place and move her tribe to Mendocino county, where hemp growing conditions were ideal. Afterwards, Napa expressed disappointment about the deal. Yount paid her in $100 bills, but they made terrible rolling papers.
According to Moonalice legend, the 910 acre farm now occupied by the Veterans Home originally was originally home to Napa Moonalice, the matriarch who sold Yountville to George Yount. Napa Moonalice was a connoisseur of fine hemp and a breeder of the highest order. Her Cabernet Sativa was full bodied. Her Pinot Indica had a finish that left people speechless. Given her personal tastes, Napa allowed no liquor or prostitution within two miles of her farm, a tradition that has been maintained to this day. We just hope that Napa’s hemp has also survived.
According to Moonalice legend, Yountville is home to Thomas Keller’s world famous restaurant, French Laundry. Funny name for a restaurant, but the legend provides an explanation. Thomas Keller’s fraternal grandmother on his sister’s left side was Helen Keller Moonalice and she, too, had a restaurant here in Yountville. Unfortunately, that restaurant failed. No one knows why. All we know is the name: French Coin-Op Laundry.
According to Moonalice legend, the Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper provided by the Moonalice tribe. The tribe was Thomas Jefferson’s preferred provider of secure hemp paper. Ever wonder why there are no rough drafts of the Declaration? The Moonalice paper was so good they smoked all the drafts.
According to Moonalice legend, today is Aphelion, when the earth is as far away from the sun as it gets. It appears that the earth and sun are co-dependent. They think they want to break up, but always get back together.
According to Moonalice legend, July 4 was not always a holiday. In 1817, July 4 was the first day of construction on the Erie Canal.
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