Jan­u­ary 10, 2009 Crys­tal Bay Club, Crys­tal Bay, Nevada
Moon­al­ice poster by Alexan­dra Fischer

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, the shore­line at what is now Crys­tal Bay was once home to an ancient Moon­al­ice tribal enter­tain­ment com­plex. The leg­end isn’t pre­cise about this — or any­thing else, for that mat­ter — but it appears that the tribe in those days was addicted to games of chance. Their game of choice was a form of Russ­ian Roulette called Brain­Dead, where con­tes­tants drank from one of a set of bot­tles, one of which was filled with poi­son. As pop­u­lar as it was, the game lasted only as long as the tribe, which was only a mat­ter of weeks. Appar­ently this was before the tribe dis­cov­ered hemp.

On this day in the year 49, Julius Cae­sar crossed the Rubi­con. Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, the salad dress­ing busi­ness has never been the same.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, each month at the full moon the Fairy Hemp Mother goes from home to home, leav­ing small amounts of agri­cul­tural enter­tain­ment under the pil­lows of deserv­ing mem­bers of the tribe. Tonight is the Wolf Moon, the biggest and bright­est full moon­al­ice of 2009. Appar­ently, the tra­di­tional Wolf Moon­al­ice item is Coy­ote But­tons. The most ded­i­cated mem­bers of the tribe can expect to find some under the pil­low in the morn­ing. We have no idea what Coy­ote But­tons are, but we’re hop­ing to find out when we wake up!

On this day in 1776, Thomas Paine pub­lished Com­mon Sense. On this day in 2001, George W. Bush repealed it.

Last night in Fair­fax, CA, we revealed the exis­tence of some­thing called the Moon­al­ice Code. We had no idea what it was, but appar­ently the code is a big deal. Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, if you vio­late it, you get turned into a gar­den gnome. We have brought an exam­ple here, in the form of Bare Assed Gar­den Gnome Moon­al­ice, who used to be a bass player. Here’s the good news: We have some infor­ma­tion about the Code. Appar­ently it has to do with respect­ing bass play­ers. Well, duh.

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