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January 10, 2009 Crystal Bay Club, Crystal Bay, Nevada
Moonalice poster by Alexandra Fischer
According to Moonalice legend, the shoreline at what is now Crystal Bay was once home to an ancient Moonalice tribal entertainment complex. The legend isn’t precise about this — or anything else, for that matter — but it appears that the tribe in those days was addicted to games of chance. Their game of choice was a form of Russian Roulette called BrainDead, where contestants drank from one of a set of bottles, one of which was filled with poison. As popular as it was, the game lasted only as long as the tribe, which was only a matter of weeks. Apparently this was before the tribe discovered hemp.
On this day in the year 49, Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon. According to Moonalice legend, the salad dressing business has never been the same.
According to Moonalice legend, each month at the full moon the Fairy Hemp Mother goes from home to home, leaving small amounts of agricultural entertainment under the pillows of deserving members of the tribe. Tonight is the Wolf Moon, the biggest and brightest full moonalice of 2009. Apparently, the traditional Wolf Moonalice item is Coyote Buttons. The most dedicated members of the tribe can expect to find some under the pillow in the morning. We have no idea what Coyote Buttons are, but we’re hoping to find out when we wake up!
On this day in 1776, Thomas Paine published Common Sense. On this day in 2001, George W. Bush repealed it.
Last night in Fairfax, CA, we revealed the existence of something called the Moonalice Code. We had no idea what it was, but apparently the code is a big deal. According to Moonalice legend, if you violate it, you get turned into a garden gnome. We have brought an example here, in the form of Bare Assed Garden Gnome Moonalice, who used to be a bass player. Here’s the good news: We have some information about the Code. Apparently it has to do with respecting bass players. Well, duh.