11–28-08 Great Amer­i­can Music Hall, San Fran­cisco, CA poster by Alexan­dra Fischer

11/28/08 Moonalice poster by Alexandra FischerNovem­ber 28, 2008 Great Amer­i­can Music Hall, San Fran­cisco, California
Moon­al­ice poster by Alexan­dra Fischer

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, a lot of what you read about Thanks­giv­ing is wrong. We like Pil­grims as much as the next tribe, but they didn’t invent Thanks­giv­ing. They merely exploited it.

The first sen­tence in the Wikipedia entry for Thanks­giv­ing says “Thanks­giv­ing Day is a har­vest fes­ti­val.” That is the first clue, but the Leg­end tells us more. A long, long time ago, a small Moon­al­ice enclave in what is present-day San Fran­cisco had a tra­di­tion of cook­ing extrav­a­gant meals for High Holy Days. Unfor­tu­nately, dif­fer­ent fam­i­lies con­trolled each hol­i­day. The guy who had the last har­vest fes­ti­val in Novem­ber was a really nice guy, but a lousy cook. His name was But­ter­ball Moon­al­ice and he was deter­mined to invent a sys­tem that told you when your food was done with­out you hav­ing to watch it. For many years, he exper­i­mented with hemp seeds, using their pop­ping as the sig­nal. But­ter­ball added a few seeds each time, but it was never enough. Year after year, the turkey burned to a crisp. Butterball’s tribe was patient, but even­tu­ally they told But­ter­ball to try some­thing else. So he used gun­pow­der. When the Turkey blew up, it took But­ter­ball with it.

The tribe didn’t have din­ner that year, but at least they had some­thing to look for­ward to. And they called it Thanksgiving.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, the day after Thanks­giv­ing is known as The Day After Thanks­giv­ing. Tra­di­tion­ally, the tribe stays home and con­sumes mass quan­ti­ties of hemp.

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