August 14, 2008 Castaways, Ithaca, New York
Moonalice poster by Alexandra Fischer
According to Moonalice legend, young members of the ancient Moonalice tribe in upstate New York developed an unhealthy fascination with the neighboring Iroquois Confederation. The, you see, were very sophisticated in comparison to the very down market Moonalice tribe. The Iroquois represented everything Moonalice was not: they were rich; they were educated; they had lots of friends. In short, they were mainstream establishment. Moonalice had just the two clans — the nomadic musicians and the hemp farmers — and they couldn’t get anywhere near the Iroquois Confederation without getting laughed at. In spite of this, young Moonalice read fan magazines like Iroquois Tonight! and QuoisFanatic in teepees adorned with posters of great Iroquois chiefs. It annoyed their parents to no end.
In a bright corner of the Moonalice legend sits one of the great inventions in the history of the tribe: the refreshing fruit-flavored ice dessert. For hundreds of years, the tribe searched far and wide for something sweet that would salve the savage throat after smoking. A few unlucky tribe members discovered that snow was unreliable. Not only was it available only a few months a year, it came in flavors that no one liked, such as “citrus.” Fortunately, in 1905 a kid in San Francisco left a mix of fruit soda powder and water on the porch overnight on the coldest day of the year. It had a drink stirrer in it. By morning, the Popsicle was born. We bring this up because Wikipedia reveals that August 14 is National Creamsicle Day. There’s no way this can be a coincidence. Not here in Ithaca. So the Earl of Moonalice went grazing and came back with a couple of boxes of Creamsicles that we shared with the audience.