March 26, 2010 Killington Ski Resort, K1 Lodge, Killington, Vermont
Moonalice poster by Alexandra Fischer
According to Moonalice legend, skiing was invented by a member of the tribe right here in Killington. 200 years ago, this mountain was one giant hemp farm. The new United States was growing like a weed, and needed tons of hemp to support ships of sail. The harvest in 1790 was a record, going far beyond what could be sold to the sailing trade. The tribe did its best to smoke the rest, but by midwinter, they still had no solution for what to do with all the stems. That’s when a young tribe member named Outer Limits Moonalice came up with an idea. He figured that if you could use hemp to sail on water, you could use it to sail on snow. So he built himself a little sailboat and climbed to the top of Killington peak. Needless to say, the boat fell apart right away, and Outer Limits found himself screaming down the hill on a couple of hemp boards. It didn’t end well for Outer Limits, which is why thy call the place Killington.
According to Moonalice legend, Killington has an identity crisis. Originally christened Killington – due to the tragic death of Outer Limits Moonalice – the town changed its name to Sherburne in 1800 to honor Sherburne Moonalice. Pictured on today’s poster, Sherburne Moonalice invented wind-proof matches, which transformed Moonalice culture here in Vermont. And so the name remained for 199 years, until someone decided to change the name back to Killington. Apparently, the town fathers preferred celebrating the hemp-related death of Outer Limits Moonalice to the hemp-related triumph of Sherburne Moonalice. I don’t want to be critical here, but I will point out that the whole thing could have been avoided by traditional Moonalice methods: continuous inhalation of herbal entertainment until the earlier of a (1) a consensus decision or (2) unconciousness. Repeat as needed.
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