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December 5, 2009 19 Broadway, Fairfax, CA
Moonalice poster by Chris Shaw
According to Moonalice legend, Fairfax was the location of the first Moonalice tribal tug-of-war. Rope is a byproduct of hemp agriculture — Big Steve calls it a side effect — and the tribe supported itself by selling rope and hemp sails for ships. But inside the tribe, no one had much use for rope. It tasted horrible when you smoked it. But a clever guy by the name of Three Sheets Moonalice figured out that you could use it to settle arguments. That was the beginning of tug-of-war. But Moonalice is a fundamentally lazy tribe, so the mere threat a tug-of-war was usually enough to cause everyone to smoke a fat one until they forgot what they were arguing about.
According to Moonalice legend, the tribe’s band — us — has gone through a metamorphosis in recent weeks. We are now a quintet. We think of ourselves as the High 5. If we want to get high with someone, we just use the traditional band greeting.
According to Moonalice legend, today, December 5, is a high holy day in the Tribe. On this day in 1933, Utah became the 36th state to ratify the 21st Amendment to the Constitution. Do you remember the 21st Amendment? It ended Prohibition. Alcohol may only be a back-up form of entertainment in the Moonalice tribe, but we stand up for the rights of drinkers!!! We believe everyone should be free to imbibe whatever entertainment they can handle without bothering anyone. By the way, it is traditional for the tribe to celebrate this great anniversary by smoking up a storm.
According to Moonalice legend, December 5 is the Day of the Ninja. Originally created to promote the whole Ninja vs. Samurai fighting thing, it has evolved into a International Creep Like a Ninja Day, a Ninjas vs Pirates celebration which some people consider an alternative to International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Ridiculous. No matter how sneaky, no day can match Talk Like A Pirate Day. Arrrr!!!