12–5-09 19 Broad­way, Fair­fax, CA poster by Chris Shaw

12/05/09 Moonalice poster by Chris ShawDecem­ber 5, 2009 19 Broad­way, Fair­fax, CA
Moon­al­ice poster by Chris Shaw

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, Fair­fax was the loca­tion of the first Moon­al­ice tribal tug-of-war. Rope is a byprod­uct of hemp agri­cul­ture — Big Steve calls it a side effect — and the tribe sup­ported itself by sell­ing rope and hemp sails for ships. But inside the tribe, no one had much use for rope. It tasted hor­ri­ble when you smoked it. But a clever guy by the name of Three Sheets Moon­al­ice fig­ured out that you could use it to set­tle argu­ments. That was the begin­ning of tug-of-war. But Moon­al­ice is a fun­da­men­tally lazy tribe, so the mere threat a tug-of-war was usu­ally enough to cause every­one to smoke a fat one until they for­got what they were argu­ing about.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, the tribe’s band — us — has gone through a meta­mor­pho­sis in recent weeks. We are now a quin­tet. We think of our­selves as the High 5. If we want to get high with some­one, we just use the tra­di­tional band greeting.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, today, Decem­ber 5, is a high holy day in the Tribe. On this day in 1933, Utah became the 36th state to rat­ify the 21st Amend­ment to the Con­sti­tu­tion. Do you remem­ber the 21st Amend­ment? It ended Pro­hi­bi­tion. Alco­hol may only be a back-up form of enter­tain­ment in the Moon­al­ice tribe, but we stand up for the rights of drinkers!!! We believe every­one should be free to imbibe what­ever enter­tain­ment they can han­dle with­out both­er­ing any­one. By the way, it is tra­di­tional for the tribe to cel­e­brate this great anniver­sary by smok­ing up a storm.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, Decem­ber 5 is the Day of the Ninja. Orig­i­nally cre­ated to pro­mote the whole Ninja vs. Samu­rai fight­ing thing, it has evolved into a Inter­na­tional Creep Like a Ninja Day, a Nin­jas vs Pirates cel­e­bra­tion which some peo­ple con­sider an alter­na­tive to Inter­na­tional Talk Like a Pirate Day. Ridicu­lous. No mat­ter how sneaky, no day can match Talk Like A Pirate Day. Arrrr!!!




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