July 4, 2009 Vet­er­ans Home of Cal­i­for­nia, Yountville, Cal­i­for­nia
Moon­al­ice poster by Den­nis Loren

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, George Calvert Yount arrived in this part of Cal­i­for­nia deter­mined to grow grapes and make wine. When he got here, the place was inhab­ited by mem­bers of the Moon­al­ice tribe and planted with acre upon acre of qual­ity hemp. Yount explained his plan to the tribal chief, a matri­arch by the name of Napa Moon­al­ice, who thought he was crazy, but was too polite to say so. Instead, she gra­cious offered to sell the place and move her tribe to Men­do­cino county, where hemp grow­ing con­di­tions were ideal. After­wards, Napa expressed dis­ap­point­ment about the deal. Yount paid her in $100 bills, but they made ter­ri­ble rolling papers.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, the 910 acre farm now occu­pied by the Vet­er­ans Home orig­i­nally was orig­i­nally home to Napa Moon­al­ice, the matri­arch who sold Yountville to George Yount. Napa Moon­al­ice was a con­nois­seur of fine hemp and a breeder of the high­est order. Her Caber­net Sativa was full bod­ied. Her Pinot Indica had a fin­ish that left peo­ple speech­less. Given her per­sonal tastes, Napa allowed no liquor or pros­ti­tu­tion within two miles of her farm, a tra­di­tion that has been main­tained to this day. We just hope that Napa’s hemp has also survived.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, Yountville is home to Thomas Keller’s world famous restau­rant, French Laun­dry. Funny name for a restau­rant, but the leg­end pro­vides an expla­na­tion. Thomas Keller’s fra­ter­nal grand­mother on his sister’s left side was Helen Keller Moon­al­ice and she, too, had a restau­rant here in Yountville. Unfor­tu­nately, that restau­rant failed. No one knows why. All we know is the name: French Coin-Op Laundry.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, the Dec­la­ra­tion of Inde­pen­dence was writ­ten on hemp paper pro­vided by the Moon­al­ice tribe. The tribe was Thomas Jefferson’s pre­ferred provider of secure hemp paper. Ever won­der why there are no rough drafts of the Dec­la­ra­tion? The Moon­al­ice paper was so good they smoked all the drafts.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, today is Aphe­lion, when the earth is as far away from the sun as it gets. It appears that the earth and sun are co-dependent. They think they want to break up, but always get back together.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, July 4 was not always a hol­i­day. In 1817, July 4 was the first day of con­struc­tion on the Erie Canal.

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