12–4-08 Apple­gate River Lodge, Apple­gate, OR poster by Chris Shaw

12/4/08 Moonalice poster by Chris ShawDecem­ber 4, 2008 Apple­gate River Lodge, Apple­gate, Oregon
Moon­al­ice poster by Chris Shaw

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, Apple­gate has long been a hotbed of tribal activ­ity. Wikipedia says that Apple­gate “was prob­a­bly named for Lind­say Apple­gate, who, along with his broth­ers Jesse and Charles, explored the Apple­gate Val­ley via the Apple­gate Trail.”

Do you believe that? We didn’t think so. For­tu­nately, the leg­end reveals the true story. A long, long time ago, the Moon­al­ice tribe lived in this area. They cul­ti­vated the tribal herb in mass quan­ti­ties and called this place, “Hemp­gate.” That’s what it was called until the first white men came. They turned out to be a bunch of third-rate bur­glers who called the place, “Water­gate.” They gave way to a bunch of min­ers who called it, “Golden Gate.” After that, we lost track. That’s when Lind­say, Jesse, and Charles showed up.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end (and Oscar Wilde), if you want to tell peo­ple the truth, make them laugh, oth­er­wise they’ll kill you. This helps to explain why politi­cians don’t need to be come­di­ans, but musi­cians do.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end (and Mark Twain), you should be care­ful about read­ing health books. You may die of a misprint.

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