11–29-08 Mys­tic The­ater, Petaluma, CA poster by David Singer

11/29/08 Moonalice poster by David SingerNovem­ber 29, 2008 Mys­tic The­ater, Petaluma, California
Moon­al­ice poster by David Singer

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, it took the tribe a while to fig­ure out how to smoke hemp prop­erly. I bring this up for two rea­sons. First, because I under­stand some of you may be look­ing for instruc­tion. And sec­ond, because the break­through occurred right here in Petaluma.

In the old days, the tribe didn’t smoke hemp. They put a nice fat bud on stick and roasted it over a fire. They would set bud to flam­ing and then pop in their mouths. Just like marsh­mal­lows, only painful.

Along came Zigzag Moon­al­ice. Zigzag was the most beau­ti­ful teenager in the tribe. She was also the smartest. But she had a mean streak. So she fig­ures out she would play a trick on every­one by using a hol­low reed instead of a stick to toast the bud. Her plan was to inhale through the reed, reduce the bud to ash … and then put it in the mouth of one of the many boys she had twisted around her pinkie. Only one prob­lem. While inhal­ing, she got buzzed in a way no Moon­al­ice had ever been buzzed before. She turned into a total sweet­heart. Instead of shar­ing the ash, she shared her new inven­tion. The tribe imme­di­ately made her matri­arch. She has been revered ever since, immor­tal­ized on smok­ing prod­ucts the world around. The rest, as they say, is Legend.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, no guts, not glory. Also no pain. The tribe doesn’t believe in that stuff. We have music and hemp instead.




Leave a Comment