10–11-08 New York Har­vest Fes­ti­val, Han­cock, NY poster by Chris Shaw

10/11/08 Moonalice poster by Chris ShawOcto­ber 11, 2008 New York Har­vest Fes­ti­val, Han­cock, New York
Moon­al­ice poster by Chris Shaw

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, when some­one says jump, you answer, “how high?” and then take another hit.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, har­vest sea­son is a time for a lit­tle hard work and lots of cel­e­bra­tion. The Moon­al­ice tribe has never been ambi­tious. It cer­tainly doesn’t like hard work. As a result, the heavy lift­ing of the har­vest is — by tribal tra­di­tion — con­fined to a sin­gle week­end, known as Labor Day Week­end. Once the crop has been brought in from the fields, there is still lots of dry­ing and cur­ing, but that doesn’t stop the tribe from cel­e­brat­ing. The hip­pies sup­ply the hemp, the bands sup­ply the music. We’re the band. We hope you guys are the hippies.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, the orig­i­nal har­vest fes­ti­val was the result of an indus­trial acci­dent. A few thou­sand years ago, Moon­al­ice agri­cul­ture was still prim­i­tive, and they typ­i­cally dried the crop in the field. One tribe mem­ber was assigned the job of watch­ing over the crop. This par­tic­u­lar Moon­al­ice tribe made the mis­take of assign­ing Screwloose Moon­al­ice to this impor­tant secu­rity posi­tion. Ol’ Screwloose had the IQ of lug nut and started play­ing with matches. Next thing you know, he set the crop on fire. The Tribe rushed into the field to try to stomp out the flames, which turned out to be a whole lot of fun. Every­body got totally wasted, but they saved enough of the crop to call the day a suc­cess. And so began the cus­tom of burn­ing a whole lot of hemp at har­vest time.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, fall foliage is nature’s ver­sion of the lava lamp. It pro­vides tribe mem­bers with some­thing to stare at as they slip into unconsciousness.

Accord­ing to Moon­al­ice leg­end, Wood­stock was a fake. The fes­ti­val came a month after Neil Armstrong’s walk on the moon and was recorded on the same sound­stage in Ari­zona. We raise this because the bus went by the Bethel Music Museum, which pur­ports to be the site of Woodstock.

The fes­ti­val took place in the only place in Amer­ica where a teenager can learn trapeze.

 

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