July 3, 2008 Half Moon Saloon, Big Sky, Montana
Moonalice poster by David Singer
According to Moonalice legend, the tribe has inhabited the Big Sky region of Montana for many millennia. While the legend is vague about the early days, what little evidence exists is quite disturbing. For example, we have been told that cave paintings suggest some of our distant ancestors may have experimented with ménage à trois marriages involving moose and bears. The modern tribe’s lack of antlers and claws supports the notion that the mixed marriages didn’t take, which is too bad because antlers and claws might come in handy in the music business.
On a more positive note, later chapters of the legend refer to the extraordinary agricultural success enjoyed by the Big Sky tribe. They leveraged their superior elevation to produce exceptional hemp products and accessories, validating the First Commandment of Moonalice: higher is better.
Elsewhere in the Moonalice legend, the west was tamed thanks to the power of rope. Without rope there would have been no cowboys. Without cowboys, there would be no Westerns or Marlboros. Without Westerns or Marlboros, there would be no Friday night. Without Friday night there would be no Moonalice, without whom there would have been no rope.
[For those of you who are new to the tribe, Moonalice has two clans, one of which was agricultural. The agricultural clan grew only one crop. Hemp. Hemp is the key ingredient in rope, as well as a number of entertainment products.] So Moonalice hemp helped to tame the west. That’s kind of ironic, as one of the tribes being tamed was Moonalice. We hate it when irony slaps us in the face.