April 15, 2008 The Jewish Mother, Virginia Beach, Virginia
Moonalice poster by Chris Shaw
According to Moonalice legend, the tribe demonstrated a preference for matriarchal leadership somewhere soon after the dawn of time. Within agricultural Moonalice families, it was common to entomb Moonmama in a burial mound with her most prized possession. The mounds were quite tall owing to the fact that for many Moonmamas the prized possession was a ceremonial bong, which had to be buried upright to avoid spilling bong water into the afterlife. We bring this up because Virginia Beach is home to Mount Trashmore, an 800 foot long, 60-foot high mound reportedly built from fill. Given those dimensions, to say nothing of the prominent role of hemp in the history of the commonwealth of Virginia, we did a little investigation. The investigation was successful, but we’re not tellin’. What happens in Virginia Beach, stays in Virginia Beach.
Among the many great people born in Virginia Beach was Grace Sherwood, the witch of Pungo. Fortunately, her name was cleared 300 years ago. Had it not been, we would have done the job ourselves.
If D-minor is the saddest key in music, April 15 has to be the saddest day in America. Not only does everyone feel the bite of tax filing, but history has dropped some really ugly events on April 15. President Lincoln died in 1865. The Titanic sank in 1912. Wikipedia said Jason Alexander died today, so we played the show for him. Turns out Wikipedia was wrong, which is a relief, especially for Jason. The Moonalice angle on April 15 comes from ancient Latvia, where Tipsa Diena is a day to celebrate the ploughing of fields. In modern times, Tipsa Diena is just another day to get ploughed.